Joy

Our last night at St. Mary's, Michael had dinner with Brother Dominic, Kahlil and I. He showed up in the shirt I had brought him as a gift and after the boys left the table, the three of us continued to talk for a long time. Mostly about what makes St. Mary's Secondary School successful. It is ranked in the top 25 for all Secondary Schools in the country. But more than just the academic performance, we talked about why St. Mary's successfully turns "the boy into a man". A man that is compassionate, honest, generous, and hard-working. Brother Dominic talked about the main priorities of De La Salle schools. Most of them were no different from what you would expect-- trained teachers, etc. The priority that sets the De La Salle schools apart is their focus on service and character.
The students have "community service" which is done ON CAMPUS-- cleaning, cutting the grass, taking care of the animals, washing, and so on. New classrooms were being built and the students had to do their part. Beyond that there is the expectation that they will take care of EACH OTHER. Brother Dominic mentioned the example of a nearby school where some Class 4 students were fighting with Class 1 and 2 students. Because Class 4 had to take an exam, the younger students were sent home to end the conflict even though they were the ones that were being bullied. This of course sent the message that test scores are more important than how people treat each other. Brother Dominic said that at a De La Salle school, the opposite would happen.
Additionally, he talked about the criticism St. Mary's has received for keeping the rescue center ON the secondary school campus-- having the two groups of boys mixed. "People who criticize have never spent time here. If they did...they would understand". What they would understand is that the secondary school students serve as role models for the Juniors, and the Juniors serve as a reminder to the secondary school students of their many blessings. St. Mary's also gives their students far more freedom than other boarding schools. Things are less fancy, but more affordable. More than a third of the students are on scholarship. The premises are covered with inspiration statements, and then of course there is also the spiritual emphasis. It's ok to talk about God. It's ok to pray out loud.

This conversation really resonated with me. Those of you who have talked with me in depth over the last few years about education, know that a focus on service is one that I really believe in and feel is absent from most public school curricula (I know there are many reasons for this). As exemplified by St. Mary's and other schools like it, it seems to make sense that students who are taught and expected to "take care" of their school and each other, would in turn care more about their education. There is less fighting, less material distraction, and they learn to support each other. If I could start my own school, I would want its foundation to be a commitment to service and character. I can't help but think of all the ways students in a place like NYC could be giving back in similar ways to their communities. There is such potential for transformation and inspiration.
***
But anyway. Darren and Kahlil stayed up our last night spending time with the boys. Specifically a group of about ten they were most close to. There was no TV, no video games....just a group of kids sitting and talking, playing tag in the dark.

Our last morning, at first D and K told me there were just going to stay in their rooms until we left. I understood that inclination. In the end they came out to play a few last games of basketball. I ended up sitting around with many many kids, trying my best not to think about leaving. I wasn't ready at all. I tried walking into the dorm to say goodbye but starting choking and had to turn around. Michael was no where to be found, and I had a hunch it was because he didn't want to say goodbye either.

I thought this time around it'd be easier to leave, but in fact it was harder. Maybe because I just wasn't ready, or maybe because it became really clear to me this trip, that I genuinely LOVE these kids and Michael and other people I have met through my times at St. Mary's. In turn, I feel loved and appreciated there in a way I have never felt before. Whether I meant for it or not, something has been STARTED that I could never just walk away from. I have made a commitment to people-- to being a person they can count on. And that....is worth more than new shoes or even books. Isn't that what everyone really wants?

And so when it was time to leave, the "four boys" along with Juma, David and Hussein, carried our bags as we walked to the matatu stand in the center of town. Kahlil had his arm around Dennis the whole time. I asked Darren why he thought they were carrying our bags. "Because they like us a lot", he said. I smiled. Yes perhaps that's part of it...but more so, it's that it's the right thing to do. They have been taught to do the right thing no matter what.

I called Michael as we were walking and he said he'd meet us in town. My heart was pounding in my chest as I searched for his face. He put so much effort out for us while we were there. Michael is a graduate from St. Mary's. He is living proof of the kind of man a school like that helps create. We all stood next to the van and began saying goodbye. Darren and Kahlil got into the back, and then the other 7 piled in. Michael told them to get out, as he he told me "I shouldn't have come". I could see the tears in his eyes as I myself began to cry.

As we drove away, my face was in my hands. Darren and Kahlil saw their teacher break down for the first time, and I'm sure it was a little uncomfortable for them even though I tried to be as discreet as possible. Everything in me wanted to turn around and go back. Why would you leave good people who love you like that? Why would you leave somewhere that welcomes you with such open arms, and shows you such protection?

I told the boys I will come back as soon as I can...and hopefully when I do, it will be with more people. I hope this is the first of many "I See with New Eyes Projects".

We brought with us gifts and money, but it was US who received the most. The people at St. Mary's taught and reminded us of what's really important in life. Not new shoes, but rather qualities you cannot touch. Generosity,
kindness,
courage,
and friendship.

"Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness". -Tolstoy.

Asante Sana St. Mary's boys, Michael, Brother Dominic, Brother William, Brother Oscar, Brother Peter, Brother Paul, Brother James, Jane, Harrison, Mark, Anna, Karanja,the Mutahi family, Brother Kombe and everyone else who made our experience in Kenya full of joy.

I will meet you again soon.

***
Our video diary will hopefully become something I can share with you in the near future. Stay tuned for a photo album and a few videos I took on my camera.