To see pictures from the trip and a few videos go to
http://picasaweb.google.com/hjkehn/ISeeWithNewEyesProject#
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Joy
Our last night at St. Mary's, Michael had dinner with Brother Dominic, Kahlil and I. He showed up in the shirt I had brought him as a gift and after the boys left the table, the three of us continued to talk for a long time. Mostly about what makes St. Mary's Secondary School successful. It is ranked in the top 25 for all Secondary Schools in the country. But more than just the academic performance, we talked about why St. Mary's successfully turns "the boy into a man". A man that is compassionate, honest, generous, and hard-working. Brother Dominic talked about the main priorities of De La Salle schools. Most of them were no different from what you would expect-- trained teachers, etc. The priority that sets the De La Salle schools apart is their focus on service and character.
The students have "community service" which is done ON CAMPUS-- cleaning, cutting the grass, taking care of the animals, washing, and so on. New classrooms were being built and the students had to do their part. Beyond that there is the expectation that they will take care of EACH OTHER. Brother Dominic mentioned the example of a nearby school where some Class 4 students were fighting with Class 1 and 2 students. Because Class 4 had to take an exam, the younger students were sent home to end the conflict even though they were the ones that were being bullied. This of course sent the message that test scores are more important than how people treat each other. Brother Dominic said that at a De La Salle school, the opposite would happen.
Additionally, he talked about the criticism St. Mary's has received for keeping the rescue center ON the secondary school campus-- having the two groups of boys mixed. "People who criticize have never spent time here. If they did...they would understand". What they would understand is that the secondary school students serve as role models for the Juniors, and the Juniors serve as a reminder to the secondary school students of their many blessings. St. Mary's also gives their students far more freedom than other boarding schools. Things are less fancy, but more affordable. More than a third of the students are on scholarship. The premises are covered with inspiration statements, and then of course there is also the spiritual emphasis. It's ok to talk about God. It's ok to pray out loud.
This conversation really resonated with me. Those of you who have talked with me in depth over the last few years about education, know that a focus on service is one that I really believe in and feel is absent from most public school curricula (I know there are many reasons for this). As exemplified by St. Mary's and other schools like it, it seems to make sense that students who are taught and expected to "take care" of their school and each other, would in turn care more about their education. There is less fighting, less material distraction, and they learn to support each other. If I could start my own school, I would want its foundation to be a commitment to service and character. I can't help but think of all the ways students in a place like NYC could be giving back in similar ways to their communities. There is such potential for transformation and inspiration.
***
But anyway. Darren and Kahlil stayed up our last night spending time with the boys. Specifically a group of about ten they were most close to. There was no TV, no video games....just a group of kids sitting and talking, playing tag in the dark.
Our last morning, at first D and K told me there were just going to stay in their rooms until we left. I understood that inclination. In the end they came out to play a few last games of basketball. I ended up sitting around with many many kids, trying my best not to think about leaving. I wasn't ready at all. I tried walking into the dorm to say goodbye but starting choking and had to turn around. Michael was no where to be found, and I had a hunch it was because he didn't want to say goodbye either.
I thought this time around it'd be easier to leave, but in fact it was harder. Maybe because I just wasn't ready, or maybe because it became really clear to me this trip, that I genuinely LOVE these kids and Michael and other people I have met through my times at St. Mary's. In turn, I feel loved and appreciated there in a way I have never felt before. Whether I meant for it or not, something has been STARTED that I could never just walk away from. I have made a commitment to people-- to being a person they can count on. And that....is worth more than new shoes or even books. Isn't that what everyone really wants?
And so when it was time to leave, the "four boys" along with Juma, David and Hussein, carried our bags as we walked to the matatu stand in the center of town. Kahlil had his arm around Dennis the whole time. I asked Darren why he thought they were carrying our bags. "Because they like us a lot", he said. I smiled. Yes perhaps that's part of it...but more so, it's that it's the right thing to do. They have been taught to do the right thing no matter what.
I called Michael as we were walking and he said he'd meet us in town. My heart was pounding in my chest as I searched for his face. He put so much effort out for us while we were there. Michael is a graduate from St. Mary's. He is living proof of the kind of man a school like that helps create. We all stood next to the van and began saying goodbye. Darren and Kahlil got into the back, and then the other 7 piled in. Michael told them to get out, as he he told me "I shouldn't have come". I could see the tears in his eyes as I myself began to cry.
As we drove away, my face was in my hands. Darren and Kahlil saw their teacher break down for the first time, and I'm sure it was a little uncomfortable for them even though I tried to be as discreet as possible. Everything in me wanted to turn around and go back. Why would you leave good people who love you like that? Why would you leave somewhere that welcomes you with such open arms, and shows you such protection?
I told the boys I will come back as soon as I can...and hopefully when I do, it will be with more people. I hope this is the first of many "I See with New Eyes Projects".
We brought with us gifts and money, but it was US who received the most. The people at St. Mary's taught and reminded us of what's really important in life. Not new shoes, but rather qualities you cannot touch. Generosity,
kindness,
courage,
and friendship.
"Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness". -Tolstoy.
Asante Sana St. Mary's boys, Michael, Brother Dominic, Brother William, Brother Oscar, Brother Peter, Brother Paul, Brother James, Jane, Harrison, Mark, Anna, Karanja,the Mutahi family, Brother Kombe and everyone else who made our experience in Kenya full of joy.
I will meet you again soon.
***
Our video diary will hopefully become something I can share with you in the near future. Stay tuned for a photo album and a few videos I took on my camera.
The students have "community service" which is done ON CAMPUS-- cleaning, cutting the grass, taking care of the animals, washing, and so on. New classrooms were being built and the students had to do their part. Beyond that there is the expectation that they will take care of EACH OTHER. Brother Dominic mentioned the example of a nearby school where some Class 4 students were fighting with Class 1 and 2 students. Because Class 4 had to take an exam, the younger students were sent home to end the conflict even though they were the ones that were being bullied. This of course sent the message that test scores are more important than how people treat each other. Brother Dominic said that at a De La Salle school, the opposite would happen.
Additionally, he talked about the criticism St. Mary's has received for keeping the rescue center ON the secondary school campus-- having the two groups of boys mixed. "People who criticize have never spent time here. If they did...they would understand". What they would understand is that the secondary school students serve as role models for the Juniors, and the Juniors serve as a reminder to the secondary school students of their many blessings. St. Mary's also gives their students far more freedom than other boarding schools. Things are less fancy, but more affordable. More than a third of the students are on scholarship. The premises are covered with inspiration statements, and then of course there is also the spiritual emphasis. It's ok to talk about God. It's ok to pray out loud.
This conversation really resonated with me. Those of you who have talked with me in depth over the last few years about education, know that a focus on service is one that I really believe in and feel is absent from most public school curricula (I know there are many reasons for this). As exemplified by St. Mary's and other schools like it, it seems to make sense that students who are taught and expected to "take care" of their school and each other, would in turn care more about their education. There is less fighting, less material distraction, and they learn to support each other. If I could start my own school, I would want its foundation to be a commitment to service and character. I can't help but think of all the ways students in a place like NYC could be giving back in similar ways to their communities. There is such potential for transformation and inspiration.
***
But anyway. Darren and Kahlil stayed up our last night spending time with the boys. Specifically a group of about ten they were most close to. There was no TV, no video games....just a group of kids sitting and talking, playing tag in the dark.
Our last morning, at first D and K told me there were just going to stay in their rooms until we left. I understood that inclination. In the end they came out to play a few last games of basketball. I ended up sitting around with many many kids, trying my best not to think about leaving. I wasn't ready at all. I tried walking into the dorm to say goodbye but starting choking and had to turn around. Michael was no where to be found, and I had a hunch it was because he didn't want to say goodbye either.
I thought this time around it'd be easier to leave, but in fact it was harder. Maybe because I just wasn't ready, or maybe because it became really clear to me this trip, that I genuinely LOVE these kids and Michael and other people I have met through my times at St. Mary's. In turn, I feel loved and appreciated there in a way I have never felt before. Whether I meant for it or not, something has been STARTED that I could never just walk away from. I have made a commitment to people-- to being a person they can count on. And that....is worth more than new shoes or even books. Isn't that what everyone really wants?
And so when it was time to leave, the "four boys" along with Juma, David and Hussein, carried our bags as we walked to the matatu stand in the center of town. Kahlil had his arm around Dennis the whole time. I asked Darren why he thought they were carrying our bags. "Because they like us a lot", he said. I smiled. Yes perhaps that's part of it...but more so, it's that it's the right thing to do. They have been taught to do the right thing no matter what.
I called Michael as we were walking and he said he'd meet us in town. My heart was pounding in my chest as I searched for his face. He put so much effort out for us while we were there. Michael is a graduate from St. Mary's. He is living proof of the kind of man a school like that helps create. We all stood next to the van and began saying goodbye. Darren and Kahlil got into the back, and then the other 7 piled in. Michael told them to get out, as he he told me "I shouldn't have come". I could see the tears in his eyes as I myself began to cry.
As we drove away, my face was in my hands. Darren and Kahlil saw their teacher break down for the first time, and I'm sure it was a little uncomfortable for them even though I tried to be as discreet as possible. Everything in me wanted to turn around and go back. Why would you leave good people who love you like that? Why would you leave somewhere that welcomes you with such open arms, and shows you such protection?
I told the boys I will come back as soon as I can...and hopefully when I do, it will be with more people. I hope this is the first of many "I See with New Eyes Projects".
We brought with us gifts and money, but it was US who received the most. The people at St. Mary's taught and reminded us of what's really important in life. Not new shoes, but rather qualities you cannot touch. Generosity,
kindness,
courage,
and friendship.
"Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness". -Tolstoy.
Asante Sana St. Mary's boys, Michael, Brother Dominic, Brother William, Brother Oscar, Brother Peter, Brother Paul, Brother James, Jane, Harrison, Mark, Anna, Karanja,the Mutahi family, Brother Kombe and everyone else who made our experience in Kenya full of joy.
I will meet you again soon.
***
Our video diary will hopefully become something I can share with you in the near future. Stay tuned for a photo album and a few videos I took on my camera.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Ready or Not
I think perhaps everyone is experiencing a bit of separation anxiety. I don't know. There is a strange energy floating around. It's a bit overwhelming right now; we took group photos yesterday, bought shoes for boys today and all the while people are handing us replies to my students letters, and wanting to spend time. There's a tension and I'm trying to just remain calm and upbeat. "When are you coming back?" says countless faces.
The photo session yesterday was awesome, except for the fact that Darren and Kahlil punished me for making them wash clothes by refusing to smile in any of the pictures. Which makes me wish I had had them wash clothes every day. It's ok, I have them smiling in enough other ones. But still, I wonder why they saw this chore as such as source of embarrassment when everyone here has to do it every day. Their American sense of entitlement came out. I just let it be. Maybe they will think about it differently down the road. One thing is for sure, you can't force someone to realize anything. And I also know that they realize more than they admit (as seen in their writing).
Well anyway, I got up early this morning to go get shoes for a group of ten boys (we've been doing this in small groups). They were beaming over piles of shoes and strings of shoes; trying pair after pair on for one that would fit. In the end, they all got a very nice pair of black shoes for school.
Later, I took the four boys out to get books they need and some clothing they need (for example, they each own one pair of socks). I went with one of their supervisors, Harrison. Darren and Kahlil came too. It didn't go exactly as I had imagined. When we ended at the "shopping center" they all got so completely overwhelmed that they practically froze and stopped speaking. Dennis in fact started crying. It was all quite strange and Harrison and I didn't know what to do. In the end we worked it out by reassuring them they had plenty of time to make selections, but it was hard for a while. I didn't mean for them to feel some kind of pressure or stress, but I forgot that this was no ordinary experience for them. They don't go shopping once a month or even once a year. It was good for Darren and Kahlil to see.
Ironically, the one place we had an easy time buying things was the bookshop.
Some things I am proud of the boys for:
Neither of them have complained about a lack of TV, soda or french fries; despite the fact that in many conversations before we left, these things were a major concern. "I can't LIVE WITHOUT TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" YES YOU CAN.
Despite the fact that Darren brought his PSP with no games and for the first few days "played it" for some kind of comfort, it became a non-existing object.
I give Kahlil props for trying all the food and liking most of it, even though he didn't eat anything for the first two days and was initially reluctant.
I give Darren props for really trying to play soccer. He's very competitive and hates not being "in the game" or "the best". Yet, I saw him trying something that didn't come easily and that he wasn't all that good at. He fell, and missed, and in the end became part of a team. "Thanks for letting me play".
Both Darren and Kahlil taught their six kids with tremendous patience and humor.
They both learned how to interact with adults they don't know all too well at a dinner table. I think Darren even has the sign of the cross down at this point. :-)
They have both gotten to the point where I know they wanted to lose their temper and could have easily, but they kept it together anyway. If they can do that here, they can do that anywhere. I'm proud of them for that.
I am proud of them for making friends and socializing more than I ever expected despite a real language barrier. Kahlil and Dennis' friendship is pretty awesome; I don't know how much they are actually talking, but they are close. Darren definitely used sports as his means for finding a common language with the boys.
Although we have definitely gotten on each other's nerves over the last fifteen days, at the end of the day I'm proud that we always came back together to write and read. I have loved this time.
We are leaving tomorrow. I wonder what it will be like. I know Darren and Kahlil are sad and don't know really how to process it. I remember last time I was here in 2008, I didn't officially say goodbye to the four boys particularly because I didn't know if I'd ever see them again and I didn't know how to say goodbye; how to just leave. I think Darren and Kahlil are dealing with this right now. I think they are beginning to understand how much these boys have looked forward to these two weeks, and how sad they will be to see us go.
I wonder what Darren and Kahlil will tell their friends about this experience when they go home.
I wonder if they will start having dreams of red earth.
I wonder if they will have any regrets.
I wonder what they will choose to remember and how they will apply what they learned here.
Tomorrow is going to be a LONG day, and I need to pray for patience. We will head to Nairobi in a matatu around noon. Then get picked up there by a taxi. Our flight is not until late at night but I can't take risks with the traffic and potentially anything else. So keep us in your thoughts. I've just bought snacks for the long journey home.
I have been sleeping with my video tapes :-) and can't wait to show you all the pictures.
Darren, Kahlil and I have seen each other fall on the floor laughing, and we've seen each other afraid. We have seen each others tears and heard each other say, "I did it!". Thank you to everyone who helped support this project. Nothing that we have done would've been possible without it. I hope this is just the beginning....
LOVE,
Hannah
The photo session yesterday was awesome, except for the fact that Darren and Kahlil punished me for making them wash clothes by refusing to smile in any of the pictures. Which makes me wish I had had them wash clothes every day. It's ok, I have them smiling in enough other ones. But still, I wonder why they saw this chore as such as source of embarrassment when everyone here has to do it every day. Their American sense of entitlement came out. I just let it be. Maybe they will think about it differently down the road. One thing is for sure, you can't force someone to realize anything. And I also know that they realize more than they admit (as seen in their writing).
Well anyway, I got up early this morning to go get shoes for a group of ten boys (we've been doing this in small groups). They were beaming over piles of shoes and strings of shoes; trying pair after pair on for one that would fit. In the end, they all got a very nice pair of black shoes for school.
Later, I took the four boys out to get books they need and some clothing they need (for example, they each own one pair of socks). I went with one of their supervisors, Harrison. Darren and Kahlil came too. It didn't go exactly as I had imagined. When we ended at the "shopping center" they all got so completely overwhelmed that they practically froze and stopped speaking. Dennis in fact started crying. It was all quite strange and Harrison and I didn't know what to do. In the end we worked it out by reassuring them they had plenty of time to make selections, but it was hard for a while. I didn't mean for them to feel some kind of pressure or stress, but I forgot that this was no ordinary experience for them. They don't go shopping once a month or even once a year. It was good for Darren and Kahlil to see.
Ironically, the one place we had an easy time buying things was the bookshop.
Some things I am proud of the boys for:
Neither of them have complained about a lack of TV, soda or french fries; despite the fact that in many conversations before we left, these things were a major concern. "I can't LIVE WITHOUT TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" YES YOU CAN.
Despite the fact that Darren brought his PSP with no games and for the first few days "played it" for some kind of comfort, it became a non-existing object.
I give Kahlil props for trying all the food and liking most of it, even though he didn't eat anything for the first two days and was initially reluctant.
I give Darren props for really trying to play soccer. He's very competitive and hates not being "in the game" or "the best". Yet, I saw him trying something that didn't come easily and that he wasn't all that good at. He fell, and missed, and in the end became part of a team. "Thanks for letting me play".
Both Darren and Kahlil taught their six kids with tremendous patience and humor.
They both learned how to interact with adults they don't know all too well at a dinner table. I think Darren even has the sign of the cross down at this point. :-)
They have both gotten to the point where I know they wanted to lose their temper and could have easily, but they kept it together anyway. If they can do that here, they can do that anywhere. I'm proud of them for that.
I am proud of them for making friends and socializing more than I ever expected despite a real language barrier. Kahlil and Dennis' friendship is pretty awesome; I don't know how much they are actually talking, but they are close. Darren definitely used sports as his means for finding a common language with the boys.
Although we have definitely gotten on each other's nerves over the last fifteen days, at the end of the day I'm proud that we always came back together to write and read. I have loved this time.
We are leaving tomorrow. I wonder what it will be like. I know Darren and Kahlil are sad and don't know really how to process it. I remember last time I was here in 2008, I didn't officially say goodbye to the four boys particularly because I didn't know if I'd ever see them again and I didn't know how to say goodbye; how to just leave. I think Darren and Kahlil are dealing with this right now. I think they are beginning to understand how much these boys have looked forward to these two weeks, and how sad they will be to see us go.
I wonder what Darren and Kahlil will tell their friends about this experience when they go home.
I wonder if they will start having dreams of red earth.
I wonder if they will have any regrets.
I wonder what they will choose to remember and how they will apply what they learned here.
Tomorrow is going to be a LONG day, and I need to pray for patience. We will head to Nairobi in a matatu around noon. Then get picked up there by a taxi. Our flight is not until late at night but I can't take risks with the traffic and potentially anything else. So keep us in your thoughts. I've just bought snacks for the long journey home.
I have been sleeping with my video tapes :-) and can't wait to show you all the pictures.
Darren, Kahlil and I have seen each other fall on the floor laughing, and we've seen each other afraid. We have seen each others tears and heard each other say, "I did it!". Thank you to everyone who helped support this project. Nothing that we have done would've been possible without it. I hope this is just the beginning....
LOVE,
Hannah
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)